The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

Many adults think children are not effected by domestic violence if they don’t see it happening, however they can probably hear the fighting and shouting sitting in a different part of the home and may have even seen their parent bruised or upset after an argument. Irrespective of whether the child is present in the room or not the arguments will effect the child’s innocent mind in one way or the other. Children who witness domestic violence are themselves being emotionally and psychologically abused, some of these effects are short termed and some are long termed and stay with the child into their adulthood.

Children who have or are witnesses of domestic violence will feel many different emotions and each child deals differently with these emotions or trauma. It must be mentioned also that some children are able to get over the trauma and not show any
negative effects in their lives, this can be because they are emotionally stronger or they are able to somehow shut themselves off and not let the domestic violence effect them . Some children may not be as badly effected because they have support from other family members like grandparents, uncles , aunts or older siblings who are able to explain the situation to them and help them overcome it.

Listed below are some of the possible negative effects a child might face or
experience when they witnesses domestic violence:

1) Children in homes where domestic violence occurs may receive injuries when they are in the same room where the domestic violence is taking place. They may be hurt when household items are thrown or weapons are being used during the argument. Infants may be injured if being held by the mother when she is beaten by the abuser.

2) Older children may be hurt while trying to protect their mothers.

3) Children in homes where domestic violence occurs may have language problems, developmental delay, stress- related physical illnesses (such as headaches, ulcers, rashes etc) hearing and speech problems.

4) Many children in homes where domestic violence occurs have difficulties in school, problems concentrating, poor academic performance, difficulty interacting with their friends , and more absences in school.

5) Boys who witness are more likely to hit/abuse their female partners, as adults than boys raised in non-violent homes.

6) The child tends to take responsibility for the abuse.

7) The child tends to constantly worry that another beating will occur and this leads stress related disorders.

8) The child starts feeling guilty for not being able to stop the abuse or for loving the abuser.

9) The child may feel fear of abandonment.

10) The child may go into a shell and have social issues and have difficulty interacting with friends or peers and adults.

11) The child can suffer from low self-esteem

12) Children may become withdrawn .

13) As adolescents they are at risk of academic failure, leaving school at a young age, being involved in minor crimes like bullying and robbery, they may turn to drug and alcohol use and difficulties in their own relationships.

14) They may become anxious and depressed.

15) They experience nightmares or flashbacks.

16) They may start to wet their bed.

17) They may have temper tantrums

18) They may become aggressive adults

19) They may begin to self-harm by taking overdoses or cutting themselves.

20) They may have eating disorders. E.g.: anorexia bulimia


Most people think that children who experience domestic violence may grow up to
become abusers themselves or victim of domestic violence, but this does not have to
be true. It’s important that the child or a young person living in this situation has
someone to talk to and is be able to express or voice their problems ,worries and tell
them what they are through as well as the situation at home. If the child is able to find
someone to help them to over come what they have experienced they will turn out to
be better adults with no effect of domestic violence.

Be Careful !! Must Read!: Torchlights (Stungun)

FOR YOUR INFORMATION, latest weapon used by robbers.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE, YOU MUST GIVE YOURSELF AT LEAST 3 MINUTES TO READ THIS!

I just thought to let know what my doctor told me recently. I don't think she was lying and neither am I, so please pass this on to your friends. Her clinic is in SS2 and you know how congested that place is.

One morning a few months ago in broad daylight, a girl was getting into her car when a few men approached her with what looked like a torchlight. Quite harmless looking. They pressed the "torchlight" into her back and immediately she went limp and very pale. So she wouldn't be able to fight back, they slashed her thigh with a parang and sped away in her car.

There were many people around and they quickly took her to the nearest clinic which was my doctor's clinic. There were two doctors at that time and they managed to stitch up her wound but the girl remained pulse-less and still pale as paper. No pulse, no BP (blood pressure). Just like dead.

My doctors were confused as to how one wound on the thigh made the girl almost like dead? They managed to revive her and save her life.

After some checking around, the doctors found out what actually happened was that the girl was made unconscious not by a torchlight but actually a high voltage weapon. I forgot how many watts she mentioned. 1000? Anyway, it was high enough to kill a person by electrocution.

It seems this weapon is from China. It's not rampant in Malaysia...yet; but with this thing, a person can rob, rape, kill, kidnap, and practically do anything to you. My doctor said that if the girl weren't taken to the clinic immediately she would have died because there was no pulse on her.

So please just beware of your surroundings, if anybody is lurking around with a torchlight-thingy and approaches you, just scream or run away. Better to be embarrassed than ZAPPED and fried, right? Take care.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, intimidation, guilt, manipulation etc. Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism and more such as repeated disapproval.

Emotional abuse is like brain washing it systematically takes away the victim's self-confidence. Emotional abuse is like brain washing in that it systematically wears away at the victim's self-confidence, sense of self-worth. With emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, criticism and accusations brings down the victim's self-esteem until he/she is incapable of judging the situation . The victim has been so badly emotionally abused that he/she starts blaming themselves for the abuse. Their self- esteem that they start clinging on the abuser.

Emotional abuse victims can become so convinced that they are worthless that they believe that they have no one else to go to. They start living in these situations because they believe they no place to go. Their fear is being alone.

Types of emotional abuse:

>Abusive Expectations

>Verbal Assaults

>Minimizing

>Unpredictable Responses

>Emotional Blackmail

>Dominating

>Denying

> Aggressing

Fight Against Abuse

Lots of women and children are being abused in some way or the other in every part of the world. I personally feel that the percentage of women and children being abused is on an increase. In India every day on news we all get to hear about cases relating to rape, molestation, eve teasing, dowry death, harassment etc. We all have to work to stop this evil menace.

Keeping all this in mind , I have created “fight against abuse” group on Facebook and @fight_abuse on Twitter because I wanted to create awareness about the trauma faced women and children who are being abused. I would like to work with women and children who are being abused and help them over come the trauma they have gone through or may still be going through .On completion of my course on Criminology I would like to make this my career option as this cause is very close to my heart and I personally feel that enough is not being done to help these victims of abuse.

Even when I am facing discouragement and resistance from some individuals I will not give up till I succeed. If anyone who is interested in being a part of this cause is free to join us to make the fight stronger. Please feel free to leave a story you have read or heard, an experience you have gone through in your life or any sort of information you would like to share regarding the subject.

I have created an e-mail id for this cause in the group in Facebook feel free to drop me a line. If you don’t have a account on Facebook feel free to contact me on twitter @sahiba_k I will send you the email id for that cause.

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is an abuse which involves contact intended to cause feelings of intimidation, injury, or other physical suffering or bodily harm.

Forms of Physical abuse:

>Striking

>Punching

>Pushing, pulling

>Slapping

>Whipping

>Striking with an object

>Excessive pinching on the body

>Kicking

>Making someone fall

>Kneeing

>Strangling

>Drowning

>Sleep deprivation

>Exposure to cold, freezing

>Exposure to heat or radiation, burning

>Exposure to electric shock

>Placing in stress positions (tied or otherwise forced)

>Cutting or otherwise exposing somebody to something sharp

>Exposure to a dangerous animal

>Throwing or shooting a projectile

>Exposure to a toxic substance

>Infecting with a disease

>Withholding food or medication

>Spanking is subject to controversy as to whether it qualifies as physical abuse.

>Blinding a person or causing impairment of sight.

>Biting

Domestic Violence

Physical or phycological abuse, threats, intimidation or harassment inflicted by a family member, significant other in a dating relationship, household, member (i.e roommates, floor mates, etc) or care taker relationship. Again a person need not be married or living together can be of the same sex/gender as the victim.

Battering:-

Battering is behaviour that is to establish power and control over the other person with whom an intimate relationship is or has been through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use violence. Battering happens when one person believes that they have entitled to control another.

Intimate partner violence is connected to the societal oppression of violence of women,children , people of color, people with disabilities, people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans, elders, and other marginalized groups.

Domestic violence may not only include the intimate partner relationships or spousal, live- in relationships and dating relationships, also familial, elder and child abuse may be present in a violent home. Abuse generally falls into one or more following categories: Physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional and psychological abuse, and generally increases over the period of time.

Victims of abuse may experience:

> Punched wall

> control of finances

> lying, using

> children to manipulate a parent's emotions

> intimidation

> isolation from family and friends

> fear

> shame

> criticism

> cuts

> crying and afraid children

> broken bones

> confusion

> forced sexual contact

> manipulation

> sexist comments

> yelling

> rages

> craziness

> harassment

> neglect

> shoving

> screaming

> jealously

> loss of self esteem

> coercion

> slammed doors

> abandonment

>silent treatment

>rape

> destruction of personal property

> unwanted touching

> name calling

> strangling

> ripping

> slapping

> bitting

> kicking

> bruises

> stalking

> scrapes

> depression

> sabotaging attendance at job or school

> brainwashing

> violence of pets

> pinching

> deprivation of physical and economic resources

> Public humiliation

> broken promises

> prevention of seeking medical and dental care

> ridicule

> restraining

> self- medication

> forced tickling

> threats to harm the family and friends

> threats to take away the children

> threats of being kicked out

> threats of being killed

Occupational Violence

Occupational violence is the attempted or actual exercise by a person of any force so as to cause injury to a worker including any threatening statement or behaviour which gives a worker reasonable cause to believe he or she is at risk.

Following factors increase a worker's risk for workplace violence:

1) Contact with public

2) Delivery of passengers, goods or services.

3) Having a mobile workplace such as taxicab or police cruiser

4) Working with an unstable person in health care, social services or criminal justice settings.

5) Working alone or in small numbers

6) Working late at night or during early hours.

7) Working in high - crime violence

8) Guarding expensive goods

9) Working where alcohol is served.

Violent incidents in the workplace ordinarily follow some sort of "trigger" that pushes an already vulnerable person to take drastic action. Be wary of employees who start to behave in ways listed below:

1) They say they've been treated unfairly.

2) They say they're being forced to wait for something( a promotion, raise etc)

3) They show signs of mental instability.

4) They begin to isolate themselves, are thought as a loner

5) They have recently been disciplined for something.

Most employees with grievance don't become violent.

The following characteristics are the most common in those who commit workplace violence:

> History of violent behaviour . This increases any involvement with the criminal justice system.

> Upset with only having low-level tasks to do

> No job security

> Problems growing up, including bad grades in school, abusive parents etc.

> Substance abuse, including taking heavy medication ( drugs ,alcohol)

Violence has often occurred at meetings between managers and employees, especially if the employee is unhappy with the meeting. If you schedule a meeting with and employee and you feel that the employee may become violent, you may want to take these steps:

> Don't let the employee know that a meeting is scheduled - take them by surprise so that they don't have time to prepare.

> Have someone else present.

> When employees are being evaluated, make sure that good things are being said about them as well.

> Never attack an employee- this includes insults and yelling at them.

> Always remain calm when you talk

> Make sure that you have good distance between yourself and the employee

> Make sure that security can easily be reached

> Stay close to the door incase you choose to quickly leave.